A mostly accurate report from this past Wednesday’s volleyball games
The Social Lights Interchurch Volleyball Circuit burst onto the scene between two gulley-washer storms on Wednesday evening. The dukes were raised and four tough-as-nails outfits went at one another like dogs scrapping over the last steak in the icebox.
According to the athletes themselves, the evening was a rip-roaring success. But bigger questions linger. Are monumental feuds already brewing? Which club is truly the champion of the circuit? And where, when the chips are down, do loyalties really lie?
Social Lights recently put out a call for hard-boiled champions willing to represent their churches in an epic campaign of volleyballmanship and volleyball-ladyship. From that summons emerged four remarkable aggregations, each eager to establish its standing in the young circuit.
Meet The Outfits
Serves Him Right
Serves Him Right hails from a church in Oak Forest on the southeast edge of the suburbs. Leadership of the outfit is shared among three siblings: Ian, the field general; Jenna, chief wrangler; and Grace, tactician extraordinaire. Though rooted in Oak Forest, this aggregation assembled the most far-flung contingent in the circuit. Athletes answered the call from as far south as Crown Point, Indiana, and as far north as Inverness. The distance between those two points would keep a motorcar occupied for nearly two hours. Such dedication speaks volumes.
The Chosen
The Chosen represent a church in Monee. Scuttlebutt around the circuit paints them as a crack volleyball outfit loaded with talent. Though unable to answer the bell on opening night, team captain Bethany already enjoys a reputation as one of the premier aces in the league. The Monee contingent also received several unattached athletes from the circuit office. Whether these newcomers can quickly fall into step with the rest of the aggregation is one of the early storylines of the campaign.
Cool Beans
Cool Beans comes out of Joliet. Captain Jeremy assembled a contingent of close friends to carry the banner for their church. The circuit office supplemented the club with a healthy helping of unattached talent—more than any other outfit in the league. As a result, Cool Beans may prove one of the most fascinating clubs to watch as the campaign unfolds. Will the lads and lasses learn to pull on the same rope? Only time will tell.
Net+ (net positive)
Net+ may be the most unusual aggregation in the entire circuit. Rather than drawing from a single church, the club is composed of Christian athletes from an Ultimate Frisbee association in Wheaton. Their core consists of dedicated performers with a history of tackling personal and athletic challenges together. Reliable dope suggests that morale within the club is second to none. If enthusiasm alone won championships, Net+ would already have one hand on the trophy.
Wednesday’s Opening Tilts
The original start time called for six o’clock. Then Mother Nature intervened. A goose-drowner of a storm rolled through the region and forced officials to push proceedings back by thirty minutes. Members of Cool Beans and Serves Him Right nevertheless arrived before the appointed hour and found a wet but sturdy field of play awaiting them.
Several of Cool Beans’ more distant campaigners were prevented from coming by the storm aftermath. To round out the lineup, the club borrowed two capable women from the Net+ contingent.
According to several athletes, league official Audrey had previously indicated that each time slot would feature three contests. The official on site, David, appeared blissfully unaware of this arrangement.
“You think I read the email?” multiple witnesses reported hearing him remark.
David ruled that clubs would contest only two official tilts, with a third affair available on a voluntary basis and excluded from the standings. The ruling did not appear to delight the assembled athletes.
Cool Beans Vs. Serves Him Right
Shortly before half-past six, the first athletes took their positions. Cool Beans and their borrowed Net+ reinforcements occupied the south side of the court. Serves Him Right dug in on the north.
A fierce rock-paper-scissors struggle determined the opening serve. Not a single eye wandered from the yellow-and-brown sphere. The whistle sounded. The campaign was underway.
From the very first volley, the affair developed into a genuine melee. Before either club could scratch across a point, the ball crossed the net no fewer than a dozen times. The score remained deadlocked for much of the opening tilt.
At six-all, Jeremy unleashed a battle cry that reportedly startled nearby wildlife. Cool Beans caught fire. Serves Him Right found themselves trapped in a rut. Though they battled gamely and managed to reach seven points, Cool Beans surged ahead and carried off the opening contest.
During the intermission, several observers claimed they witnessed Ian gathering his contingent into a tight huddle and delivering what could only have been a fiery address. Whatever words were exchanged, they worked.
When the second set-to commenced, a new steel had entered the Oak Forest outfit. The score once again remained neck-and-neck. This time, however, Serves Him Right refused to yield an inch. The clubs battled all the way to a deadlock at nineteen-all. Then disaster struck for Cool Beans. Ian and his warriors unleashed a thunderous rally. Brimstone seemed to rain from the heavens as Serves Him Right stormed ahead and captured the second affair.
Jeremy later characterized the result as an encouraging near-victory and expressed optimism that additional practice would help his club round into shape. Whether he truly appreciated the fury his lads and lasses awakened in Ian’s contingent remains uncertain. Reliable dope suggests the feud may not be over. Not by a long shot.
The Chosen Vs. Net+
As the first hour drew to a close, athletes from the second slate of contests began arriving. Word circulated that captain Bethany would miss opening night due to an out-of-town engagement. In her absence, command of The Chosen fell to acting captain Gabe.
Then Net+ arrived. And what an arrival it was. Bursting onto the grounds in matching bright-blue shirts, the Wheaton contingent answered the bell in force.bSome observers even claimed to detect visible sunshine following several of the club’s star performers. These reports remain unconfirmed. Nowhere was Net+’s remarkable morale more evident than in captain Sherri, whose enthusiasm appeared capable of powering small machinery.
At half-past seven the athletes took the court. Net+ occupied the south side. The Chosen took the north. Another high-stakes rock-paper-scissors encounter determined opening serve rights. The Chosen emerged victorious and took the ball.
What followed can only be described as murder in the first degree. Net+’s pep never wavered. Unfortunately, neither did The Chosen.
The towering Monee aggregation stormed onto the court like conquerors. With a lineup seemingly composed of giants, The Chosen overwhelmed their opposition from the opening whistle.
Some witnesses claimed acting captain Gabe possessed the uncanny ability to whisper instructions directly to the ball itself. Whether this is true remains under investigation. The Chosen captured the first contest by a staggering score of 21-6.
Facing the reality of the powerhouse before them, Net+ regrouped. The second tilt proved far more competitive. The score remained close through the early going. At ten-all, however, The Chosen caught fire. A blistering rally carried them all the way to game point at twenty.
Then came one of the evening’s most impressive displays of determination. Net+ refused to fold. The blue-clad performers mounted a stirring comeback and rattled off point after point. For a brief and glorious moment, the gallery dared to imagine the impossible. But champions finish. With one of their trademark jackhammer spikes, The Chosen slammed the door shut and claimed the contest 21-13.
No hard feelings appeared in evidence afterward. Players exchanged handshakes and congratulations. Net+ clearly recognized that they had encountered a worthy adversary. They also demonstrated the value of loosening up beforehand, nearly defeating The Chosen in an unofficial third affair played after the standings were settled.
Supper, Scuttlebutt, and Suspicion
As the net came down and the athletes departed, the storms apparently decided their turn had arrived. Dark clouds rolled back in and reclaimed the field.
Many athletes gathered afterward for supper. Jeremy and the Cool Beans contingent celebrated the evening’s success with gusto. Several members of Net+ joined enthusiastically. The Serves Him Right contingent appeared somewhat more reserved. One witness insists Ian spent much of the evening brooding in a corner while occasionally directing death stares toward the back of Jeremy’s head. This report also remains unconfirmed.
Few members of The Chosen attended the meal. However, one particularly interesting morsel of scuttlebutt emerged. A Cool Beans performer revealed that he actually belonged to the Monee church represented by The Chosen. Through an apparent misunderstanding, he found himself placed in a different club than many of his lifelong friends and churchmates.
Coincidentally, the circuit schedule has Cool Beans and The Chosen squaring off in the very next slate of contests. Draw your own conclusions.
Looking Ahead
According to the official schedule, the circuit resumes action on Wednesday, June 24.
The opening hour will feature Cool Beans versus The Chosen. The two biggest winners from opening night will finally collide. Can Cool Beans halt The Chosen’s victory march? Will captain Bethany answer the bell and perhaps outshine her smooth-handed stand-in, Gabe? Will borrowed loyalties become divided loyalties? The dope around the circuit suggests this may be the hottest scrap of the entire campaign.
The second hour will feature Net+ against Serves Him Right. Can Net+’s unmatched morale carry the blue battalion to a double triumph? Or will Ian and his iron-willed contingent impose their resolve upon the Wheaton club?
No date has yet been announced for a rematch between Serves Him Right and Cool Beans, though several rooters have already begun clamoring for one.
When questioned after supper, Jeremy and Sherri expressed enthusiasm for the young campaign.
“There’s a lot of talent out there. We saw it today. I’m just excited to play some friendly ball against fellow brothers and sisters. To me, it’s less about winning than it is about playing our best for our teammates, churches, and ultimately to glorify the Lord who gave us these talents,” Jeremy remarked.
When approached for comment, Ian reportedly grunted, crushed the cinder block he had been curling, and walked into the night while a trail of dust followed behind him. He offered no further statement.
One thing is certain. The campaign is underway. And this reporter intends to remain on the scene, gathering every scrap of dope and every morsel of scuttlebutt available.
The faithful are invited to join the excitement on June 24, July 8, July 22, August 5, August 19, and September 2 for the championship finals. All contests will be held at Stonebridge Park in Homer Glen on Stonebridge Drive. Until then, keep your eyes on the circuit.
